My Rant (by request)

I drive a Honday CRV.  I used to drive a Honda accord and I loved that car.  I had a car mezuzah in the glove box.  I don't remember who gave it to me or where I got it, but you can't ever be too safe; and it seemed to work just fine until one day about three years ago, when I was rear-ended at a red light by a drunk driver who was going about 60 - let me qualify that - a drunk LAWYER who was going about 60 and I, who was going zero, came between him and the car in front of me.

A drunk lawyer... what are the odds?  Where is the justice?  I guess it's just a matter of who you know, or if somehow the blood tests and the witness statements mysteriously disappear from the records... OR if the ONE policeman at the scene suddenly gets deployed to Iraq for three years...  Anyway, Mr. Drunk Lawyer is back out there on the streets terrorizing God knows who.

I now drive a Honda CRV.  And I love this car.  You don't have to "SIT" down into a CRV, you can stand up and scoot your bottom right over onto the seat of this car.  Now I don't have to worry about people not being able to see my mousy little car and running right over me ever again.  So I can feel safe, like I'm not so close to the pavement any more. This is good.  This is the American way.  I have a mini-suv and me and all the other SUV drivers are in harmony on the roads.

I'm loving my CRV and feeling safe and harmonious; the car mezuzah is in the glove box; all is well.  And then just last week as I was driving down the highway minding my own business, this big, black Dodge Ram decides I shouldn't be in his lane.  HIS lane, mind you.  And all of a sudden I'm in the little car again, and I'm feeling my blood start to boil. 

What is it with Dodge Ram drivers and their stupid gimmy caps and gun racks and subzero IQ's and entitlement?  Is there some kind of Texas good 'ol boy law that states that if you drive a big black Dodge Ram everybody just has to immediately get out of your way?  That you have a special license to intimidate everyone else on the road?  That all you have to do is just keep getting closer and closer to whoever is in front of you until they're scared senseless that you're going to hit them and they'll move over to another lane?  What if you CAN'T move over, because there's already someone IN the other lane?  I know they say if someone is riding your bumper "just slow down", but what if THEY don't  slow down?  And what if their big Darth Vadar truck is twice the size of your nice little law-abiding, peace-loving Honda CRV?  Who's gonna be the one in the neck brace?

It's the Dodge Rammers that give Texas a bad name.  It's the bullies and the ones who think they're gonna live forever....   Dodge Rams put the Moron in Oximoron.  And it just makes me so mad I could scream.  It makes me wish some big 18-wheeler would come along - like in that movie "Duel" with Dennis Weaver where he was sassing that trucker and all of a sudden the tables were turned and that guy scared the pants off him?  Yeah!!!  Take THAT Mr. Dodge Ram!!!

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